You have probably heard the quote from motivational speaker Jim Rohn several times: “You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with”. It serves as a reminder that the people with whom you associate resemble those you actually want in your life.
Reasonable people can debate how helpful that way of thinking really is, but I always thought it was interesting. Interesting because a larger point that I’m always hearing about, a consequence of our fast-paced, “always on” world, perhaps, is that we live in a society where people would feel fortunate to have five connections that influence them at all. We increasingly live in a society that struggles with what might be termed as “relationship quality". An article written in Psychology Today last year pointed to a Cigna and Ipsos survey in which two in five Americans believe their relations are not meaningful. The same percentage reported feeling isolated.
How can you be shaped by an average of five people that don’t meaningfully exist? Who counts in that average? And what if, you are, as many people feel, alone? Context is key; understanding the circumstances of connection are equally as important as the connection itself.
It’s called connectivity, the ability to make the connection, and it’s a concept that can also help you form a relationship with your audience when you’re writing and delivering your speech.
This idea touched me personally in recent weeks. I’ve been working with a fantastic public speaking consultant, Sally Morgan to create a special project for my clients, past, present and future. I have known her for the last year or two, and based on our many conversations, I expected (and received) outstanding results; she absolutely improved my presence on camera.
What I didn’t expect is that the exercise and the process of shooting would connect me to my content in a much different way. In my work, I’m focused on helping clients speak to many people, finding the accessibility, accessing the universal appeal.
Sally’s advice to me while I was on camera was very different: speak to the one client who you served best. Speak to the one prospect who could be helped most. And, as I internalized that, we both discovered that we were finding new ways of approaching my content, and the experience has changed the way I think about the way I serve my clients.
It shows on camera. It shows on stage. These epiphanies, resulting from connectivity, are intangible, but they count for so much.
You, too, can have this experience if you’re willing. Your ability to connect with your content is what makes it meaningful, and your audience will find their own meaning in your speech.