Of the many takeaways I have from the last three years is that disruption can lead to reinvention. It’s not always pleasant, but it’s often necessary.
This became strikingly clear in a discussion inspired by a recent LinkedIn post showing the percentage of 30-year olds earning more than their parents did at the same age. This idea of “doing better than your parents did” has long been a diagnostic of how healthy the American Dream remains.
Thoughts on this varied widely, mostly depending on what year the commenter turned 30 years old. Unfortunately, the only unifying thought is that the American Dream as we have come to know it, is in trouble, or at least changing dramatically.
As distressing as that may be, we need to embrace these great unifiers because consensus across different demographics and lived experiences is rare. We owe it to ourselves to dive deeper into these and parse out what is reality and what is perception. When I think about my own areas of expertise, I realize it’s no different with public speaking.
The conversations I have with prospective clients contain unique goals, but they almost always have some variation of “I don’t want to feel nervous when I’m speaking”. This is just as prominent a theme for college graduates going on their first “real” job interviews as it is for consultants who have decades of expertise.
I speak from experience: if this mindset is not reframed, it can be costly to the speaker and their audiences.
We shouldn’t want to not feel nervous. A public speaking coach whom I greatly admire once told me: “If you’re not nervous, you’re not human”. Maybe we need to change our thoughts of nerves to anticipation. It’s the anticipation of doing something new, embarking on a new journey.
This is also a valuable way to approach conversations. Circling back to the example of the American Dream, you may not agree with your elders’ opinions - or those of your juniors - but If you flip your mindset from “obligation” to “opportunity”, you open yourself to a new, possibly trajectory-changing experience.